C. Husbands and Wives Must Control Their Anger.

Bible teaching

Ephesians 4:26 - Being angry is not necessarily sinful, but we must control our anger or it will lead us into sin. [Mark 3:5]

James 1:19,20 - Be slow to speak, slow to wrath, because man's anger does not work God's righteousness. Learn not to get angry quickly, and do not speak quickly when you are angry. You can learn to control your temper. [Proverbs 14:17]

Proverbs 29:11,20 - A foolish man utters all his anger and is hasty in words. Sometimes people say, "I just say what I think," as though this justifies their sinful statements. But some things should not be thought, let alone said (Matthew 12:35-37). And wise men learn to control their speech. Only a foolish man says every thought that comes to his mind, especially when he is angry. [Ephesians 4:31,32; Proverbs 16:32; 25:28]

Proverbs 15:1,28 - When you are angry or your spouse is angry, study to answer (think about it carefully), and respond calmly.

Proverbs 22:24,25 - Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.

Applications

Failure to control ones temper leads to sin and ruins many marriages.

Uncontrolled anger often leads to sin against others, especially those closest to us. It can even lead to violence and spouse or child abuse. If you have a temper problem, you must learn to control it if you ever expect to have a good home, to please God, or to receive eternal life.

If a person is known to have a bad temper that he often does not control, and especially if he is known to get violent, why marry him? Let him learn to grow up and prove he can control himself over a long period of time, or marry someone else.

You say, "He said he was sorry and asked me to forgive him."

Evil people often take advantage of the kindness of innocent people, especially young women. They lead you to believe that, if they say they are sorry, you must take them back and continue the relationship, even if you are not married.

Apologizing is good. But every liar will say he's sorry, when you catch him and prove unquestionably that he lied. People who frequently lose their temper will be sorry after they calm down. But real repentance requires changing, not just being sorry (Acts 26:20). Such characteristics are habits engrained in the character. They can be changed, but it will take time and motivation. Don't risk your soul and your happiness by marrying such a person.

If he apologizes and promises to change, you should forgive. But that does not require you to marry him or even to continue a relationship. Forgiving a person and marrying them are two different issues. Are you required to marry every person who asks your forgiveness? You are not required to marry anybody! You have every right to decide not to marry a person on any grounds you choose.

If he goes a year or two without committing such sins, you may have grounds to reconsider. But meanwhile, break off the relationship and let him prove himself willing to truly change. This keeps you free from an emotional bond that could bring you to ruin.

2 Peter 1:6; Galatians 5:22,23 - Self-control is both a fruit of the Spirit and a virtue one must add to his faith.

Before they marry, a man and a woman should both be mature and responsible enough to tell the truth, keep their promises, control their temper, and control their finances. If you are considering marrying a person who lacks self-control, do not think it will get better after marriage - it will probably get worse! Marry someone else, or at least wait until he/she grows up and enough time has passed to prove they have a pattern of responsible conduct.

If you are already married and have these problems, grow up! Study the Bible and make a commitment before God to change. Then keep your word and change.