Why should married couples be responsible and honest? How important are trust, truth, keeping promises, paying debts, and controlling spending. Why avoid deceit, lying, and uncontrolled anger?
Major marriage problems often are caused by irresponsible conduct, especially regarding honesty, financial matters, and uncontrolled temper.
A. Husbands and Wives Must Tell the Truth and Keep Their Promises.
God requires us to tell the truth.
Bible teaching
Proverbs 6:16-19 - There are 7 things God hates, and two of them involve lying and deceit: "a lying tongue," and "a false witness that tells lies."
Proverbs 30:8 - Remove far from me falsehood and lies. No servant of God wants a close relationship with one who practices lying or deceit.
Revelation 21:8,27; 22:14,15 - All liars will have their part in the lake of fire outside the holy city.
Ephesians 4:25 - Putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another. In no relationship is this more true than in marriage.
Romans 1:29,32 - Deceit is a twin brother of lying. It involves deliberately attempting to lead people to believe things that are not true. Those who practice it, and those who approve of others who practice it, both are worthy of death.
Psalm 40:4 - Do not have respect for those who turn aside to lies.
[John 8:44; Colossians 3:9; Psalm 24:3-5; 1 Peter 2:1,22; 3:10; Matthew 15:18-20; Proverbs 19:22; Exodus 20:16; Acts 5:1-9]
Applications
If we really understand this Bible teaching, why would we ever be dishonest with our marriage companion? Lying and deceit are always sinful. Why should we practice them toward those whom God has commanded us to love?
Marriage is based on mutual trust. When you sneak and deceive your spouse to get your way, you destroy the foundation of marriage and you sin against your spouse and against God.
And why would we marry anyone known to tell lies? If the person you are considering marrying lies to you or others, break off the relationship. A person who lies can never be trusted.
And if he/she lies to other people, don't think they won't lie to you. He will lie to anyone, when he thinks it is to his advantage. You never know when they are lying and when they are telling the truth. Why choose to live with that all your life?
God requires us to keep our promises.
Bible teaching
Hebrews 10:23 - God is faithful to His promises to us. This is just one of many characteristics God requires us to possess because it is a fundamental characteristic He possesses.
Genesis 29:18-28 - Laban agreed to give Rachel to Jacob for his wife if he would work seven years. But when the time came, he gave Leah instead. This is described as deceit (v25). Deceit characterized this whole family, and trouble repeatedly resulted. When a person can keep a promise but knowingly refuses to do so, that is deceitful. [31:4-13, 38-53]
Numbers 30:1,2 - The Lord commanded if a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. [Prov. 22:25]
James 5:12 - Do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your "Yes," be "Yes," and your "No," "No," lest you fall into judgment. [Matt. 5:33-37; 23:16-22; 2 Cor. 1:15-20]
The fact we don't take oaths under the New Testament does not mean that keeping our word is less needed in the New Testament than in the Old Testament; rather, it is more necessary. In the New Testament, giving your word is binding, like Old Testament oaths were binding.
Romans 1:31,32 - Among those worthy of death are "covenant-breakers" (KJV & ASV). The NKJV says "untrustworthy" - surely, one who does keep his word is not trustworthy.
Matthew 7:12 (22:36-39) - The Golden Rule requires us to do to others as we want them to do to us. If it bothers you for people to make promises to you that they don't keep, then don't treat others this way.
[See also Proverbs 20:25; Ecclesiastes 5:2-6; Malachi 2:13-16; Jer. 34:8-22; Ezek. 17:12-16 (cf. v17-21); Gal. 3:15; Josh 2:9-21; 6:22f; 1 Kings 2:8,42f.]
Applications
Sometimes extenuating circumstances might release us from a promise.
(1) We may have made a conditional promise. If the condition is not met, we are not obligated. [Sometimes conditions are understood, even if not stated.]
(2) Physical circumstances beyond our control may make it impossible to do as planned (like sickness keeping us from job, church meeting, etc.) [Luke 7:41,42; Matt. 18:24-34]
(3) The person to whom we made the commitment may agree to change the agreement [Prov. 6:1-5; Luke 7:41,42; Matt. 18:24-34].
(4) If we committed ourselves to do something sinful, we must repent of having made the commitment, and then not keep it (Matthew 21:28-30).
But we must never make a promise that we have no intention of keeping. Having made a promise, we must not knowingly fail to keep it when we are able to keep it.
If a person does not honor his word and keep his promises, what reason do you have to believe he will keep the marriage vows? What evidence is there that he/she will stay with you till death or remain faithful sexually?
Few things do more harm to the marriage relationship than a partner who cannot be trusted to tell the truth and keep his/her word.
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