C. Love Must Be Expressed in Both Word and Action.

The way to choose to love is to choose to say and do what is best for ones spouse.
Bible principles

Love should be expressed by what we say.

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands should love as Christ loved the church. But Christ states His love for the church (Ephesians 5:2; John 3:16). So husbands and wives should express love for one another in words.

This does not require an overwhelming romantic "feeling" that wells up and can't help but be expressed. Remember, love is a choice of the will.

We choose to state: "I love you. I am committed to this marriage and to your welfare."
Love should be expressed by what we do.

1 John 5:2,3 - Love for others requires us to love God and keep His commands. Keeping God's commands is loving God.

1 John 3:18 - We must love, not just in words, but in deed and in truth. This is a vital principle in every home. We ought to say loving things, but that is not enough. We must act in love.
[Luke 10:25-37; 6:27,28]

Applications

Couples should show love in how they treat one another.

Other topics will emphasize the duty of husbands and wives in the home. The husband provides for the family and uses his authority for the good of the group. The wife keeps the home and submits in love to the husband. That is Biblical love.

Love is also shown in treating one another with respect. We speak respectfully. We show common politeness and decency. We consider one another's views.

Love for God and for our spouse must motivate obedience to all God's teachings about marriage. This is the basis of obedience to all Divine commands (Matthew 22:37-39).

Couples need to show love by being affectionate.

1 Corinthians 7:3 - You owe your spouse "affection" (NKJV). The emphasis is on sexual expression. But couples need to learn that sexual affection is just the culmination of other forms of affection. Without other forms of affection, sexual union is hollow, lacking beauty and meaning. When a couple is affectionate throughout the day, sexual affection has true beauty.

You say, "I'm just not an affectionate person. My parents were never affectionate, either." Then choose to change! It may be harder for you, but love is a choice not a mood. You can change and become affectionate, just like you can change anything else necessary to please God.

This affection is "due" one another. It is not just an emotion or mood that overwhelms us, so we involuntarily start saying and doing sweet things. We should do and say kind things and express affection by choice. Make a point to remember to say, "I love you" and to be intimate.

Don't' wait till some mood or force compels us. We can and should choose to act these ways.