B. Peers

Parents need to have a plan, how to deal with this problem.

Here are some suggestions. (You may find other ways, but these are some suggestions that harmonize with Bible principles.)

* Get to know your children's friends. Have them visit in your home.

* Never let your children go anywhere, including dates, unless you know the people they will be with, where they are going, when they'll be back, etc.

Illustration: If a stranger asked you to borrow your car, wouldn't you want to get to know the person first? Wouldn't you want assurance where they were going, what they would do, who they would be with, and when they'd be back? Aren't your children more valuable than your car?

* Train your children, from a very early age, to choose the right kind of friends. Especially teach them the importance of marrying a Christian (and that dating leads to marriage).

* Give your children opportunities to associate with good young people. Have get-togethers for good children to be together. Don't expect the church to do it. You do it for the good of your children.

* Train your children to talk about the gospel with their peers. It is not wrong to associate with people who are not Christians. Jesus did so, but He did it so He could have opportunity to teach. Children should learn to invite other children to Bible classes, discuss right and wrong, set up Bible studies, etc. If they date non-Christians, let them be these kinds of dates.

* Exercise your authority as parents to determine who your child may or may not be friends with. Young people think, "My folks have no right to tell me who my friends will be." But God says, "Children obey your parents..." (Eph. 6:1) and says parents must train up children to serve God. If parents determine some young person is a harmful influence on their child, they have every right to intervene, just the same as they can make any other decision for the good of their child.

There may be other ideas that help. But the parents are obligated to plan ways to deal with problems caused by peers.

C. Education

Parents must plan how to effectively deal with these problems.

Here are some suggestions. Again, there may other ways than the way we chose. But we are obligated as parents to deal with it, not just throw up our hands and do nothing and hope the children turn out all right anyway.

* Investigate what's happening. Visit the schools. Get to know your child's teachers and administrators. Read your child's textbooks. Volunteer to work at school activities. Read books that will help you know what problems to look for in the schools. Investigate school activities before your child gets involved. Find out if a class or extra-curricular activity will involve missing services, immodesty, false teaching, etc.

* Make it clear to all involved that your child will not participate in certain activities. Write out a list of areas of concern and talk to your child's teacher about them, or have them put in your child's school record: sex education, evolution, abortion, homosexuality, etc.

* If a problem exists in a class or activity, talk to people in charge and work out an arrangement for your child to be excused or given some other activity, etc.

* Talk with children at home about matters of concern. Try to get open communication. (But don't rely entirely on this because sometimes children don't talk about their problems).
* Teach your children the truth diligently and regularly about the concerns they are facing in the schools. Have regular studies at home, etc.

* Limit your child's involvement in school activities. Schools are increasingly dominating children. They get them younger and keep them longer. They promote day-care, pre-school, kindergarten, after-school activities and sometimes before-school activities. All this strengthens the school's influence and weakens the family's influence.

Instead of this, de-emphasize school involvement and emphasize family and church activities. Have recreation and work together as a family. Worship God together, study His word, and pray, visit in homes of other Christian, attend all church assemblies and classes, visit area gospel meetings, clean the building, do personal work together, help them learn to teach class, etc.

* Stand for the truth regardless of the consequences. If it means your child's grades suffer or he faces ridicule or embarrassment, so be it. First-century Christians went to prison, were beaten and even died rather than participate in error. Parents must teach children to sacrifice and suffer for the cause of Christ.

* Choose alternative forms of education. Perhaps your family needs to consider a private school or home schooling. These may not work for everybody, but for many people they are a true blessing.

* Remember God gave you the responsibility for training your children to serve Him (Eph. 6:4). And he will hold you accountable. Even when your children are at school, you (not the school) have the ultimate responsibility for seeing that your child is rightly trained. If the schools cooperate with your authority, wonderful. If not, then it's your job to take whatever steps are needed for the good of your child.

Conclusion

Luke 6:46 - But why do you call Me "Lord, Lord," and do not do the things which I say? The issue of authority is a critical issue facing our society. But the proper attitude toward authority will generally be learned - if it is ever learned - by children in their homes as they relate to the authority of their parents. The way we exercise authority toward our children will very likely determine their eternal destiny. Are the children in your home learning proper authority relationships?