Key #4: Instruction

Many Scriptures tell parents to provide information and guidance so their children can know what is expected. We should teach many aspects of life, but especially we must teach the word of God and its application in their lives. Children, in turn, should heed this instruction.

Proverbs 1:8 - Sons should hear the instruction of their fathers and not forsake the law of their mothers. [Cf. 1 Thess. 2:11.]

Psalm 34:11 - David determined to teach future generations the fear of the Lord.

Isaiah 38:19 - The father shall make known God's truth to the children.

2 Timothy 3:15 - From childhood Timothy had been taught the Scriptures because they could make him wise to salvation. [Cf. Eph. 6:4.]

Consider some principles involved in instructing children. As we do so, notice the many other passages that show the importance of instructing children.

I. How Should We Instruct Children?

What methods should we use to instill God's word in our children?

A. Word of Mouth

Genesis 18:19 - Abraham commanded his family after him. He told them what they should do to serve God.

Deuteronomy 4:9,10 - The things the parents know should be made known to the children.
Psalm 78:4-8 - We should tell God's law to the next generation so we can be sure they know it and can tell their children.

Parents must take time to talk to children about God's word. Explain the teachings and the principles involved. Discuss with them, ask them questions, and answer their questions.
How often do you make it a point to explain God's word to your children? Do they have a thorough understanding of His will for their lives?
[See also Deut. 6:6-9; Psa. 48:13; 71:18; etc.]

B. Example

All people learn by imitation. We learn new jobs by watching others do them, etc. Children especially learn by mimicking parents. Toddlers want to wear our shoes, talk like us, dress like us, etc.

Children need to see their parents living by Bible principles. But remember that they imitate both good and bad characteristics.

2 Timothy 1:5 - Timothy's genuine faith was first possessed by his mother and his grandmother. They did not just tell Timothy what to believe. They showed him by their own faith. "Actions speak louder than words."

Ezekiel 16:44 - "Like mother, like daughter." Most parents want their children to live better than they themselves have lived. This can happen, but it is rare. The general rule is that children are like their parents. If our children are no better than we are, what will they be like?

1 Kings 15:3 - Abijam walked in the sins of his father. Many such statements can be found regarding kings of Israel and Judah. Children often imitate their parents' sins.

And children often go even further in justifying sin than their parents do. We knew a family in the church where the kids grew up hearing the father argue that there isn't anything wrong with drinking a beer now and then. His kids ended up leading the teens in the congregation in drinking parties with obvious drunkenness. This is why parental example is so important.

Nehemiah 13:23,24 - Both parents will influence the children. Jews married people of other nations, and their children spoke half in the language of Ashdod. This is one reason why it is so important that a Christian marry another Christian. Children need both their parents to set good examples. Otherwise, the bad example may defeat the effect of the good example. [Matt. 23:1-4]

Genesis 27 and 37 - Isaac and Rebekah played favorites with their children, and Rebekah influenced Jacob to deceive Isaac. When Jacob had children, he in turn played favorites, and his sons in turn deceived him. When you practice evil, you may as well expect your children to practice it too - and they will probably practice it toward you!

If your children imitate you, will they lie, deceive, smoke, drink, gamble, dress immodestly, neglect the Lord and the church? Or will they be honest, hard working, and diligent in Bible study, prayer, teaching God's word to others, and working in the church?

Do you have things about your life that you don't want your children to imitate? If so, you need to change, and do it now!

Woe to us if, by our example, our children are lost eternally. It would be better for us to be drowned than to suffer the fate we will suffer in such a case (Matt. 18:6,7).

C. Practice

Usually people learn best, not just by being told what to do, nor even by watching others, but by actually practicing the activity guided by an instructor. This is the way most people learn to play the piano, drive a car, or participate in a sport, etc.

Parents need to teach their children to work by having them help you work. This applies to housework, gardening, making repairs, and work of all kinds. But especially children should learn to serve God by practicing it under their parents' guidance.

Hebrews 5:14 - To discern good and evil, senses must be exercised by reason of use (NKJV footnote: "practice"). It is not enough just to speak truth to children, nor even to set a good example before them. We must also insist that they regularly practice what is right. This will instill in them the habit of doing right and avoiding evil, so they will continue to be faithful throughout life.

Do you insist that your children practice what you teach them till it becomes a way of life with them? Later lessons will discuss how to get children to practice what we teach them. The point here is proper instruction requires that we insist that children practice right, not just see us do it.

D. Repetition

With all the methods of teaching we have discussed, frequent repetition is needed. Humans are creatures of habit, and habits develop by repetition. The telling, the good example, and especially the practice all need to be repeated throughout the child's life, so good habits are thoroughly instilled in his character.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 - Parents should talk continually of God's commands. Write them down where you see them frequently. All this involves repetition and reminder.

Exodus 13:8,14-16 - The Passover feast was repeated every year so that the children would remember how God led Israel out of Egypt.

2 Peter 1:12-15 - Sometimes young people tire of hearing parents repeat things, but Peter repeatedly reminded people of things they already knew. To do otherwise he said would be "neglect." He knew they would need these lessons after he died.

When children do something contrary to what their parents said, one of their most common excuses is, "I forgot." Every time a child uses that excuse, he is admitting that he needs to be reminded! Like Peter, someday your parents will be gone and you won't be able to talk to them.
But parents should not let repetition turn into nagging and lecturing. When kids already know something, they will often turn off a long lecture. A short reminder may be all that is needed. Or ask them to explain the matter to you. But make sure they know and that the lessons are fresh in their minds.

These methods will instill God's will deeply in your children's minds. What about your children - have they been thoroughly instructed in God's ways?