III. Other Useful Methods of Control

I cannot give a complete list of good methods parents can use to motivate children, but I can suggest some possibilities as illustrations. Parents should use their ingenuity.

A. Acceptable Substitutes

If a child has been corrected for some wrong or has been forbidden to do something unacceptable, you may offer him an acceptable alternative rather than leave him disappointed or tempted to do wrong despite your instructions.

If he cannot ride his tricycle because it is raining, suggest some inside game or activity.

If you teach him not to go to the prom, offer him some alternative: a night out with the family or a banquet with other Christian friends.

God uses this method with us. He does not just forbid sin, but tells us the good we should replace it with (Eph. 4:22-32). This approach leaves the child with much less temptation to do wrong, and also teaches him to have a positive outlook and be content even when he cannot get his way.

B. Withholding Privileges

Rewards are given only to those who deserve them. When a child misbehaves, withholding a privilege or reward may be an appropriate punishment. Usually such punishments are most effective if the connection between the punishment and the crime is fairly obvious.
If he doesn't finish his homework (or other job), he can't go out to play but has to finish the homework.

If he misbehaves with his friends, then he cannot visit with them for a period of time. If he does not come when he was supposed to, he is "grounded" and can't go anywhere for pleasure for a while.

An older teen who uses the car improperly (as by not caring for the car responsibly) may have use of the car withdrawn for a period of time.

C. Apology

Matt. 5:23,24; Luke 17:3,4 - When we wrong other people, the Bible teaches us to go to those people and apologize. Parents should teach children to practice this principle. When the child wrongs another child, an adult, or the parents themselves, the child should be made to apologize.
This also constitutes a good form of discipline because it is not easy to face one we have wronged and admit we were wrong. The child is not likely to soon repeat the act that led to this consequence.