II. When and Where Should We Instruct Children? Part 2

C. Have Regular, Organized Studies at Home

Every child should have daily Bible study at home.

The primary duty for teaching children rests on parents, not on the church. We need to teach them the importance of regular, frequent study at home. Consider:

Acts 17:11 - The Bereans were noble for searching the Scriptures daily.

Hebrews 3:13 - To avoid falling away, people need daily admonition.

Psalm 1:2; 119:97-99; Joshua 1:8 - We should meditate on God's word day and night. (Reread Deut. 6:6-9.)

1 Peter 2:2; Matthew 5:6 - We should hunger and thirst for God's word as a man thirsts for water and as a baby does for milk.

Do these verses describe something to be done just once or twice a week? Parents should teach their children this kind of daily commitment to Bible study.

Much good material is available to help parents in teaching.

For younger children, many good books and recordings are available for teaching Bible stories.
Parents can review the children's church Bible class lessons with them at home. You can also order other Bible class material to study with the children at home.

A good way to memorize Bible verses is to write them on cards, place the cards on the table, and have everyone say them at meals till the whole family knows them.

For years our family read a chapter of the Bible every evening at the supper table. Then we would go around the table asking one another questions about the chapter.

Many good study methods are available. The point is that parents need to spend time on a regular basis, in an organized way, to make sure their children learn God's will.

What about your family - are they being thoroughly instructed in God's will?

D. Teach Informally as Occasions Present Themselves

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 - Note the emphasis on teaching under all circumstances. We should have prearranged studies in which we determine beforehand when and what we will study. But we should also watch for the "teachable" moment that may occur unplanned on the "spur of the moment."

Here are some suggestions about informal teaching.

Promote a relationship of open conversation with children.

Before you can help them apply principles of truth to their problems, they need to feel free to bring their problems to you.

This is another area where I made mistakes. I am not a good conversationalist, I often thought I had more important things to do, and especially I let my wife become a mediator between the kids and me. If they had requests or concerns, they went to Karen first. If she approved it, she would defend the kids' case to me. If I disapproved, she would explain my conclusion to the kids.
The effect was to isolate me from my children. Dad was unapproachable. Mom was the only one you could really talk to. And if Mom agreed to something, then the whole group would gang up on Dad to convince him. If Dad vetoed it, then Dad became this gruff ogre, the bad guy. The kids were teenagers before I realized my mistake and tried to correct it.

Some suggestions for open conversation with kids:

Take time and be available from early days.

If you take time to talk with them when they are little, they are more likely to take time to talk to you when they are older. Do things together as a family and each parent individually with each child. Plan activities together and make use of informal occasions to be together.
This is another problem area if both parents are employed outside the home or spend too much time on outside activities. Opportunities to establish an open relationship are missed.
Often the "generation gap" exists because parents fail to take the time to discuss children's concerns.

Especially be available at three special times: meal times, when they come home from school, and bed time.

Kids are especially talkative at these times. Ask about their day. Think of topics you can bring up to discuss. Always have at least one meal per day (preferably more than one) as a family and encourage good conversation.

Be involved in their interests.

Attend their ball games, school functions, and musical performances. Get to know their friends. Listen to their music. Watch TV and movies together. Help with their homework. Know what they are involved in so you can discuss with them.

Honestly listen to them and treat their conversation seriously.

Don't try to do most of the talking. Let them talk so you know what interests them and what they are thinking.

If a problem or viewpoint is serious to them, you should treat it seriously as you would with an adult friend. If you disagree, try to reason at your child's level, but don't ridicule or make fun or "talk down" to him. Otherwise, next time he won't come to you with his concern.

The ability to converse with your children will lead to the following kinds of teaching opportunities:

Teach in response to questions children ask.

Many of Jesus' most memorable lessons came in response to questions. This includes the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29ff), teaching on divorce and remarriage (Matt. 19:3ff), and the discussion of the greatest command (Matt. 22:36ff).

Likewise children often ask questions that give excellent teaching opportunities: questions about death, prayer, baptism, smoking, etc. When the child asks, he is obviously interested and receptive. Don't just make a brief comment; discuss the matter.

Have religious discussions in the child's presence.

Discuss the sermon on the way home from services or at a meal. Ask each child about his/ her Bible class. Invite visiting preachers or other Christians into your home and have religious discussions.

Don't think children won't learn because "it's over their heads." They will understand more than you think, and later they will remember the importance of these discussions.

And yes, parents should discuss in the presence of the children about problems the church faces. I grew up understanding divorce and remarriage because the church dealt with it in my best buddy's family. Some judgment may be needed here, but too many parents hide church troubles from their children so the children are shocked when they grow up and must deal with problems.
Obviously the children do not need to solve the problems, but they need to grow up knowing there will be problems in the church. And they should learn from their parents' example how to deal with problems.

Discuss circumstances in life that present good moral lessons.

A circumstance in which someone handles temptation wisely may present a good example to encourage. A car wreck may make a good lesson about obeying the law. A Christian who has problems with a non-Christian spouse may teach the importance of marrying a Christian. Many such examples will arise.

As a teenager I was watching a ball game on TV, when a fight broke out. The camera showed Minnie Minoso calmly sitting on second base, waiting for the game to continue. My mother stated simply that, like Minoso, Christians don't fight. Obviously, the lesson stuck with me.
Discuss Bible principles when the child faces spiritual decisions or when his conduct is spiritually unacceptable.

Don't just tell your children what your rules are or punish him for disobeying rules. Tell them why you made the rule, especially if there are Bible principles involved.

Discuss the principles with the child. Get the Bible out and look up passages together. When he grows up, he won't have to have you to tell him right from wrong. But if he understands the principles involved, then he can make right decisions for himself.

Obviously not every decision can or should be explained. Sometimes there is no time to discuss a matter. In other cases the child is too young to understand. And sometimes children repeatedly demand to know "Why?" even when you have tried repeatedly to explain. They question the explanation simply because they don't like the rule. We should not give in to such manipulation. But when reasonably possible, we should explain our reasons as a teaching tool.

Sometimes it may be useful to test our children's understanding of Bible principles by asking them to explain the principles and make the application to a certain situation. Let them reach the conclusion and explain it to you. Give guidance and additional information, if needed, of course. And never let him reach a wrong conclusion without giving the correct information. But let him learn to think things through for himself.

Conclusion

I sincerely believe that the majority of Christians neglect to teach God's word to their children as they ought. Many of us let our children face serious temptations day after day at school, on TV, in music, with friends, etc. In many cases, we make mistakes just by the degree of temptation we let them face. But then we make matters worse by neglecting to give them the instruction they need to deal with those temptations. No wonder we are losing so many young people to the world.

When we bring a child into this world, God expects us to instruct that child to do His will. That job belongs to us simply because we are parents, and God will hold us accountable for how well we do the job.

Are we training our children in such a way that we are ready to give answer to God in judgment?